The School Helps Us :)

As some of you know, we been having some behavior problems with our son.
Like I said before, he is in middle school this year and it has been quite different from the elementary school, which is next door. last year, Braxton was prepped with other class mates from visits by teacher and staff and at times, he visited the middle school.
By the end of last year though, the special ed teacher from middle school had a new position and a brand new teacher was coming in..I was very worried about this change for him.
However; he seemed to transition well.
His new teacher was brand new to teaching and used to be a speech pathologist and I thought that was not so bad.
Not long though and there were problems. Braxton has a hard time 'waiting' and gets upset by stops and trains and construction, traffic, etc.  I  can't begin to tell you how many times in our vehicle, one of us got whacked from Braxton having to 'wait'.  On some of these times, our little girl would be sound asleep to get awoken by a slap on her head.
Anyway, the 1st incident happened while the class was shopping and Braxton rammed the cart into his aide.
His teacher  (Ms. H) called me ans told me what happened. She told me "You need to keep him at home tomorrow as a consequence."
I was taken back by this knowing this was not a legal move as the behavior was due to his disability and finally said OK to it.
I did not let it go though and pulled out some special education law stuff and she got so frustrated by me, she asked the Special Education Director to call me. Guess what? I told her the same thing.  The only thing that made it legal..was the fact that I had agreed to it. I also told her that the school does it this way (get the parent to agree. ".after all, it is nice that we are not expelling your kid.."...is because they (school) does not want a paper trail and end up with expenses from compensatory services.... I may add at this point when other issues have come up, I have not been asked to 'keep him home'.
You see, I have advocated at this school before with clients and this was a norm for this school and the main one behind a lot of this was the assistant principle, who usually sits on her throne during IEP's and other meetings involving parents. I might add that to me she is a bully and I have had other parents feel the same way.
When we had Braxton's 3 yr eval, I requested the principle, Mr. B be present or there would be no meeting.
Mr. B asked me why I felt that way & I just replied, "Just call it a personality conflict."
 also pointed out to staff that at the beginning of the year, when I set up Braxton's Communication Book, I had a typed up page in the front telling about him, what works best and his challenges, including 'waiting'...
To get to the school offering help. Braxton's teacher knows ABA Therapy and that is what they use in this school (unlike elementary)      . I feel it would be helpful, so I been trying to learn how to do it.
I can read it, but I will learn more by 'show me'. I have expressed this to his teacher and she got Mr. B's ok to actually come to our home and show us. So, her and his aide will be here in the next 2 weeks for a 3 hour session. She is also showing me how to do a schedule. I told her what I want on it.
I know what to do and what I have to have..but I have a hard time knowing how to put it together.
We have never been real structured and in my older age, I am craving it. So, this will be a learning experience for all of us.
I will pay my kudos to the school and Special Ed Director, so they will want to keep doing a service for our children. I'll keep you posted on progress and learning.