Laughing and Crying

Well, the past couple of days have been very interesting.
First off, I will start out with something very funny. This is what i wrote yesterday on my Facebook page :
:"By the end of the day, I will be a proud grandmother..to a LOAD of LAUNDRY!! I have been chuckling all day about this one. Thank you Braxton for keeping me so entertained. I thought he dressed pretty classy..however; Sarita was not so amused. She was a bit upset about her dress LOL"
With Braxton's sensory issues, he constantly stuffs clothing under what he is wearing. He needs to feel his body in space. This is probably why you may see autistic kids jumping up and down or flapping their arms and hands. There is a very good article on this at :http://www.tsbvi.edu/seehear/fall97/sensory.htm

There are a few things happening. My daughter continues to see a therapist weekly and is set to be evaluated on 11/14..A step in an alright direction. Now, whether he believes in giving someone her age a dx is another question.

I have been to hell and back with her over the past few weeks. I say something like 'Get out of my face" and she says "Oh you want me out of your life" Then she says things like "You want me to die, don't you?" I guess I should realize it is manipulation. Then to have her say things about not being good enough and on and on really wears a guy down.

She is putting bad bruises on my autistic son. The therapist says she needs a group to understand him..I thin k it goes way beyond that. She just says she wants him gone. We are setting up consequences for every time she hits him and also when he hits her . Sadly, she has taught him to hit. Last time she came crying because he was fed up with her, I looked at her and said 'Aren't you happy that you taught him to hit?" She was mad at me then.

Is this normal for these kids to only think of "I" and to be mad and jealous if someone gets something? She was mad at her dad because he is going after his purple belt in karate and it was not fair because hers is white.

One thing I have done is that whenever she is disrespectful to us, we don't let her go places. That is a consequence for her..but you know what? I don't think she can help it.

My daughter also goes into very immature behavior when she wants attention with baby talk and acts helpless. She also hits herself. There has been a question if she may be also on the spectrum (autism).

 Even celebrations are tainted because she got less and on and on. How does one go on and ignore this behavior? The other night at dinner, she went on and on with her screaming, etc. Finally the 3 of us there just got up w/o a word and went into another room. WOW was she surprised. I am going to do whatever I can to help her with emotions. One thing she really enjoys is art work. She is an awesome artist.  

Changes Again

Over the past week, Braxton has been doing some interesting things.
He thought I was crying and came to me saying "Don;t cry mommy", then he kissed me. Usually, he laughs when someone cries. Then the next day, he pretended to cry and put his head toward me. He wanted me to say "Don't cry Braxton" and hug him.  To me, this was huge growth.
Another thing he has been doing is peeing on his bedroom floor:( Now, this is not so cool and I do not know where it is coming from. I told him if he does it again, I will take away TV time.
Otherwise, he is doing fine. We are working on a schedule to make things easier. The locksmith will be here today to give us an estimate on locks on all kitchen cabinets.
My daughter is doing well in school and is such a happy girl most of the time. My main problem at this time is finding ways to help her not feel so jealous of her brother. She keeps telling me she hates him. I try my best to explain his needs and capabilities are different from hers. I am beginning to feel that this goes deeper than that though. She cannot stand any of my attention on anyone or anything.  If I even give the animals attention, she is mean to them.    Her therapist seems to think all of her behaviors are just seen at home. I told her that is where we always are and she acts up wherever we are.  If you put limits and boundaries down, she will fight back. It does not matter who you are.
I have been having to put limits and boundaries on her relationship with Sue, whom she calls grandma. When she goes for a visit with her, her behavior is horrid when she comes home. Sue seems to do whatever she is told by my daughter and she spends more time running and playing with her. I do not think this is so healthy at times. It really puts a strain on me. It has been several months since I have allowed my children to go to Sue's home even. Recently, I told Sue she could only take the kids to the park, instead of spending so much money on them. I hate having to feel like I have to compete for my daughter's affections.  I am not able to give her all the attention she seems to feel she needs. It is like a bottomless pit that cannot be filled.  If the truth be known, I actually spend more time with her, because Braxton is so much easier to care for.
Tonight, I will take my girl to karate. She is getting pretty good and I am so proud of her.
This last Saturday, we had the last barbecue of the year at my parent's home. It was very enjoyable. My dad and husband did the cooking. Of course, there was enough food to feed an army.
I play games with dad every morning via Skype and almost daily, I hear my mom asking him to clean the litter box. So, I made them a kitty litter cake. This was a huge hit and everyone was taking pictures, but nobody would eat it. It is a mixture of spice and white cake crumbled together , then vanilla pudding and crushed vanilla sandwich cookies mixed in. I made the poo out of softened tootsie rolls and put green food color in about 1/4 c of the cookies and sprinkled them on. My nephew, who is a vet, had to look twice and sniff and then asked em to make him one to take to work:) Now Braxton, knowing what the poo was, ate the ones off the side:) 

School

School started for my little darlings and on the first day, both of them were excited. I worried about Braxton as he kept saying "No school", but he was excited also.  He has a new teacher this year, Mr C. Braxton really likes him and he still has his 1 on 1 Mrs R.  I can hardly believe he is in grade 7.  I look forward to a really great year for him since there are only 5 kids in his class. A few weeks ago, I started giving Braxton Vitamin D3. There was a study done on it and autistic children seemed to have performed better and most of them showed they were low on D3....http://blog.vitamindcouncil.org/2012/08/17/study-high-antibodies-low-vitamin-d-levels-in-autistic-children/      A few moms on groups I am on have commented on improvements in their children.  A few days ago Braxton showed proper emotions for the first time. He thought I was crying and looked at me and while coming to me said "Don't cry mommy" and gave me a kiss. This was major as he usually laughs when he sees someone cry.  He is getting better at talking in sentences also.

Sarita is a big 2nd grader this year. I suspect she will do well. She is very smart and so creative. . Some of her drawings just amaze me.  In November, she will get an evaluation for her emotional needs.  She is so explosive at times, it worries me. We have given her a bigger bedroom now and she really likes it. We are hoping to have it all put together and painted within a couple of months. Last night, my little artist painted herself up and the clothes she was wearing with chocolate cake batter. I should have taken a picture, but truthfully, I was a bit annoyed at this one. Braxton is the one who made the batter him self:) He read the directions and made it. The bad part is that the cake mix was to be used for tomorrow's barbecue at my mom's. 

My husband went in yesterday for ultrasound on his kidney's. I do not know any results yet. He seems to be holding his own. Since he is now on medicare, there were some changes we had to get used to. At least his meds are pretty well covered and with his plan, he will have no deductibles. The biggest difference now is that instead of putting out less than $160.00 for medical per month, we now put out over $1,000.00 which has really hurt us and right now, we are in distress over this. I can barely get my kids what they need and school lunches are expensive . The forms do not take into account what you have to pay. Another bad thing is that we no longer get any income tax back with the kids. I know so many grand parents go through this also. They live on a fixed income and are having to support their grandchildren and can't even claim them. Things need to change in this realm.

I went to a weekend training a week ago and really enjoyed it. This was for Community Connectors. The trainings were on special education and Wraparound.  I met a lot of wonderful people and look forward to attending another training in March 2013.  We were at Ft Worden in Port Townsend, Wa. 

I have been very busy with school meetings with other parents and passing out fliers for Family Alliance for Mental Health www.familyallianceformentalhealth.com and makin g new connections for families in need of support. 

Well, I am off. Have a great day!

An Outing to the Zoo

Yesterday, we decided to take the kids to the zoo. I do not know where my brains were as I should have known that Saturday may be packed.
It took us awhile to get there as we had a couple stops to make and Braxton was getting a bit upset.  He hates 'waiting' and traffic. As we neared the zoo, the traffic was awful and finding a place to park was difficult. Braxton was screaming in the front seat. Paul let us out to find a parking place and he finally got with us 1/2 hour later. We encountered many stares while Braxton continued his screams. You know, it is hard to understand a person throwing fits like this when they are almost 5'7 and 135 pounds. At nasty stares I smiled sweetly and said "This is what autism looks like."  I should have packed my autism business cards to educate.

We let the kids ride the merry go round 3 times, which calmed Braxton and Sarita really enjoyed it also.  Both kids have sensory issues on certain loud noises and both would cover their ears when the whistle sounded to start the ride .  After this ride, Paul took braxton to restroom to put his shorts on him frontwards:) We then headed to the play area where Braxton enjoyed numerous rides down the slide and Sarita mainly climbed on things.  Braxton did not want to go see animals, etc. Since paul had been at the zoo not long ago, he stayed with Braxton while I saw a few things. We went to the aquarium and views aquatic animals and the red foxes. We spent about 1 1/2 hours before returning to Paul. We then left the zoo and on the way home stopped and got ice cream cones.  Even though the day was stressful at the start, it turned out to be fun.  The kids were surely tired. We had one more incident before bed time. We heard Sarita crying and Braxton came into our room with a big grin. He said "Sister", and then it turned out that Braxton had peed on her. She was already on the toilet when he had to go potty. He has a problem waiting. That is the toilet he uses in the house. I then told him "Pee goes in the toilet. If sissy is here, use momma's toilet."  Hopefully, he will make the connection. My children went to sleep early and I was one grateful mom:)

I really think my kids are bored

Well..Have a great morning all..I am off to bed for a bit. At 2AM, I felt this body wedging its way on my bed between Paul & I..when a shoulder pushed me onto the floor..I decided I may as well get up for awhile....ugh the cinnamon mess is still waiting for me:)
well..so much for my sleep. my daughter could not find her sub sandwich and went after her brother with a knife..then she was mad at the dog and was trying to squish her...she has not been sleeping much for about the last week and reminds me of the energizer bunny which is constantly moving. ..last night I was watching America's Got Talent" and I made the mistake of saying I liked someone's singing and for 1/2 hour, I put up with crying and sulking with words like "You mean you like them more than me?, I just can't do anything good, You don't love me, why don't you like me singing? and on and on and on and on..Of course, no matter what I answered, it was not right. Then she was on our bed and I had my arm up and she hit her eye on my elbow and of course it was "Why did you hit me?"

This too shall pass. Later on today, we are going to the park for a picnic and some fun..Talk to you later..

OHHHHHH THE SMELL!

Excuse me while I sit here in the corner flapping my hands and zone out..my children decided a water fight would be fun in Braxton's room. Then after the floors were wet, they decided that my huge jug of cinnamon would be a cool touch.....Now, I do know it is the girl's fault for sure as she gets things started. Braxton is in there now trying to mop up the goo with the mop and is wetting it in the toilet..When this fine mess finally dries up, Paul will bring the shop vac into the house to clean it. At this moment, I have a few things in which I am grateful: things to be grateful for : I am too tired to care right now, my kids have some unusual ways to entertain themselves, school will be starting soon and I am so glad I bought that easy to care for rubber flooring. Now, I will say goodnight and hopefully, I can find a tranquilizer for when it really hits me..oh I forgot: I need to also take an allergy pill..the cinnamon smell is horrid..

School, please start early

Well, things have been busy in our house. The kids seem to spend a lot of time fighting each other.  Hubby spends time at the doctors and I have been adding some hours for work.

Hemotologist says if hubby's white blood count and platelets don't get better, he wants to do a bone marrow test. When hubby tells me, I reply "With what I have heard, you will not look forward to it."  I am very worried about him because since his liver transplant, he is still very tired and just not up to par. He is now on B12 injections again. Renal doctor had him see the nutritionist . He is on prescription potassium and eats tons of bananas and still his levels are low.  In my mind, I think the Crohn's has a lot to do with it as he just poops everything out within 20 minutes after eating.  His attitude is still the same, which is good. He is still a smart aleck and still makes his usual very dry remarks, that can leave you scratching your head :)

My daughter has been experiencing her usual mood swings and beats up her brother. Man, for a 7 yr old, she packs a punch! He is bigger then me and is constantly screams 'Help mommy!" She still ignores us when we ask her to pick up her things and constantly wants to go back to acting like a baby.  When her brother gets into her things and she gets mad and screams at him, then tattles to me, my reply is "Well honey, you do not like it, do you." Tearfully, she replies "No."  I end it with a sympathetic hug and say "That is the way mommy and daddy feel when you get into our things and take them."
Last night, I heard her up and not sure what time she crawled into bed.    
I was awake around 1:00AM this morning as my son was up and getting into everything. He usually sleeps peacefully when he takes his Melatonin and so I wonder if his staying awake had something to do with the Vitamin D3 I started him on. I know it gives me energy.  I read an article on D3 and Autism and how studies indicate it is good for cognition and a host of other ailments.  Here is the link about it:


 http://blog.vitamindcouncil.org/2012/08/17/study-high-antibodies-low-vitamin-d-levels-in-autistic-children/

Now, when I got up finally at 2:30AM this morning, because I could no longer sleep, I went into the kitchen and noticed poop on the floor leading to our room. Well, I gotta tell you, just by looking at it, I knew it belonged to my sweet daughter.  She has done this before when upset with her brother and then blames him. There is something though about us moms, they don't realize : We usually know our kid's poop!    Sure enough this morning, she blamed him..

So far, aside for me being a bit tired, my morning is ok. At least the kids are not fighting. Hubby is at the renal doctor. My daughter wanted to make a cake and got out the cake mix and did it all by herself. After pouring the batter into the cake pan, she asked em to put it in oven for her. I noticed a small bit of batter still in the bowl and she informed me it was 'the frosting'.  I asked if she remembered to grease the pan and when she told me no, I told her it was ok, we can deal with that.:)  Cake gets done and she dishes some up for her and brother. I told her I had to have at least 1 taste of it, She looked so proud as I tasted it. I told her what a great cook she was and how proud I am of her learning these things. It was really good:)  Anyway, it was much better than her first concoction this morning of milk, p nut butter, a load of cinnamon, a ton of sugar and sliced apples all nuked in a bowl.  Of course, the mess she made and promised to clean up, is still waiting for me.

Right now, she is doing some art work in an area I have told her not to use and is happy as a clam. I bet she does not clean it up, so it will end up in a bag and going bye bye for awhile.

I need to get back to my work of scrubbing my son's room and trying to wade through her room.  We are moving things around in our home. She is moving into a bigger bedroom that hubby has been using for an office. I am having my own bedroom in her room and hubby is moving his office to our master suite, where he will have plenty of room.  After all this is done, the kids will no longer be able to go into our now bedroom and get into things and they won't be able to go through my things and get on my computer.  Lots of things that have no use and extra clutter things are leaving our home.  My daughter was upset about some of her things having to leave. I finally told her that I know it is hard for her to pick up so many things so, we are going to make it more manageable for her. She seemed OK with that.......until next time, have a great day.